Work Humor

Got a long one for you today.

Okay. Now, I know there are a few people from the medical world that follow this blog, and I'm sure you have some of your own stories to add to this. And if any of you are nurses, I mean no disrespect. But at the hospital I work at, we have some... challenged nurses. But first, for those of you who don't know how the hospital setting functions behind the scenes, let me explain a few things.

I work in the laboratory. We draw and run blood and other specimen samples. If we get a result that is outside of the normal 'accepted' range and is considered a 'critical' level, we must call the patient's nurse and inform him or her so that they can take the appropriate actions. Here are a few conversations that I have personally over heard.

Lab Tech: Yes, I have a critical value for a B.U.N. on patient 'John Doe' (making that up for HIPPA violations ;) )
Nurse: Okay. And how do you spell that?
Lab Tech: ...spell what?
Nurse: B.U.N. ?
Lab Tech: B... U... N...
Nurse: Okay. And what's the value?

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Let me explain the Blood Bank system before I tell you this next conversation (or actually 2). When giving blood to a patient it is very, very important that they receive the correct blood type. They can die if they don't. Because this is so important, there is additional identification that needs to be done when drawing blood samples from the patient to determine their blood type.

We have a form on which the person (in this case the nurse) is drawing their blood. They must identify the patient by their wrist band, require a signature verifying it is the correct patient as well as a brief medical history from said patient. After that, a second wrist band is placed on the patient with the patient's name and a unique number that is also placed on the blood sample drawn and the information card. This gives a third and fourth way to identify the patient.

I know it can be confusing. So when a nurse is having to draw this specific test, I try to help them out. I highlight the places on the information card they need to fill out and place a note with it and the second wrist band that says "Please return the filled out information card with the blood sample after you have arm banded the patient". Then I received the following phone call:

Me: Lab This is Brandi.
Nurse: Yes. I have this blood bank I have to draw. I'm about to go draw the specimen and I've already filled out the card. I just have to get the signature, but I have a question.
Me: (Thinking it is the normal 'what if they received blood four months ago' or something like that) Okay. What's your question?
Nurse: What do I do with this armband?
Me: ...You mean the one with the patient's name on it and the note that says to bring the blood down to us after you've armbanded the patient?
Nurse: Yeah. That one.
Me: ...you put it on the patient.
Nurse: That's what I thought.

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Better yet was when I received a phone call from the nursing supervisor or the 'head nurse'.

Me: Lab. This is Brandi.
Nursing Sup: Brandi. Can you bring me a new wrist band for that blood bank specimen you just dropped off.
Me: (thinking I did something wrong) I can. Is there something wrong with that one?
Nursing Sup.: (Taking a deep breath) Not exactly. I just had a nurse who thought she was suppose to put it on herself.

I have a million of these. This is getting a little too long but maybe I'll post some more another day.