Introductions Round 1

 

With this blog encompassing some of the real life stories I have experienced, I thought it would be best to fill you in on a few of the reoccurring characters you will see. Lets start with the one who will probably be featured most... my mother. After reading this post, you'll probably understand why she will be featured quite regularly.

My mother's name: Leah (yes that is her real name).

Age: 52 unless you ask her and then it is still 39.

I don't even know where to begin in describing my mother other than saying she is truly unique. Everything about her is unique. Especially the way she thinks. For example: I'm driving in my car with my mother in the passenger seat, discussing birthdays and how easy it is to forget them when there are so many to remember. This conversation ensues:

Me: Well, there was a research study done that shows the average person's memory has decreased since we started using cellphones so much. We don't have to remember anything because it keeps track of it all for us. Phone numbers, birthdays, appointments. It's all in there.

Mom: But you have to be careful with that. With the phones and computers, you know.

Me: ...why?

Mom: They'll lie to you.

Me: They'll lie to me?

Mom: Yeah. Computers will lie to you. They do it all the time.

Me: …

Mom: Don't look at me like that. I've put phone numbers in my phone and then when I go to use them, the number is wrong or all swapped around.

Me: That's because you put them in wrong.

Mom: (shaking her head and looks out the window) No it's not. I put them in there perfectly. It lied to me. It lies to me all the time.

Another example: I'm working on helping her and my father set up their insurance policies online. I have sitting on the table, my new laptop. The process is very redundant and the website is not at all user friendly so I begin to get annoyed with it. The conversation goes on as such:

Me: I'm getting frustrated. Can we just finish this up later?

Dad: Yeah. I'm not in any rush to get it done.

Mom: Would it be better if you plugged it in?

Dad: …

Me: What does plugging my laptop in have to do with me getting frustrated?

Mom: I don't know. It was just a suggestion.

My mother is an intelligent woman. She just doesn't always think things through sometimes. Another issue she has is word usage, or rather, knowing the correct meaning behind a word. A simple example of incorrect word usage would be her insistence on referring to 'texting someone' as 'tex mexing someone'. This would be in reference to 'TexMex' food, or Texas' version of Mexican food, a more Americanized version... don't ask why she confuses the two. I don't know.

Example two:

Me: I would feel like I was letting them down if I didn't. You know?

Mom: Yeah. You don't want to pop their cherries.

Me: … You mean burst their bubbles?

Mom: Don't they mean the same thing?

Me: No. No they don't. Popping cherries means I took their virginity.

Mom: Oh. Well, you don't want to do that.

Those are just a few examples of my mother and the way she works. I can honestly say, she is probably one of the most entertaining members of my family. She just doesn't realize it.