Holy Crap

I'm just going to leave this right here for everyone to look at because I have been left speechless. (click to enlarge) You are all amazing.

I Still Can't Believe She Did That

In this photo... is the look of guilt. The look of shame. The look of embarrassment.

My sister, her dog, and myself went on a road trip this weekend to visit my parents back up north. It's a trip I have made four times in the last two months but this time was different. Why? Because we took my sister's dog. This dog is... unique. She has her little quirks and has them in abundance. There are even a few that pertain to traveling. Some even requiring my sister to drug the animal before the trip starts. However, we did not this time.

We took my car and covered the back seat with a sheet to cut down on the dog hair and then added a thicker blanket to prepare for the vomiting. Because that is what this dog does. All the time. For no reason. But never once, there always has to be a second time.

So we start to leave town completely prepared for the possible vomiting. The dog is thrilled to be going for a ride and is pacing back and forth in the back seat as my sister drives and screams for her to sit down. About that time another car cuts her off and she slams on the breaks. No big deal, we didn't get hit and no one was hurt, but Danielle continued to lecture the dog about sitting down.

I told her to calm down the dog was working on it until I noticed something rather odd about her hunched posture. After I noticed the odd posture, I then noticed the odd smell. When my sister slammed on the breaks to avoid hitting the car that cut us off, she literally scared the shit out of the dog. That's right. The dog shit in the back seat of my car.

For several miles we had to drive with the foul stench of fresh dog poop filling the car regardless of having all the windows down until we reached an exit and found an available dumpster to discard the (thankfully) multiple layers of seat protection. When we were finished, I looked into the back seat and saw this face. So much guilt in those eyes that I couldn't even be mad at her. However, my sister is responsible for thoroughly cleaning my car this week... it has been violated.

Time... to make fun of myself

It's one of the things I do best and probably always will. I mean, I provide myself with countless opportunities so I decided to share a few. To be more specific, I refer to these as my 'my mind is somewhere else but I really need it to be here' moments.

What brought this up? Well, last night I was chatting with a friend while laying in my bed when I turned my head and looked at the shade-less lamp on my night stand. This is when I had one of my 'moments'. My body decided to reach over and touch the light bulb of the lamp to see if it was hot. It wasn't thankfully, but my mind didn't register what I was doing until I had already done it.

Now, I know what you are thinking and let me reassure you that my intelligence level is actually above average. I've taken several IQ tests and they all say the same thing. I just have moments where my brain states the quickest way to find my answer and my body reacts in accordance before that 'but it's going to hurt' comment is added.

For example, standing out in our front yard a few years ago after my father had just finished installing an electric fence to keep our dogs from digging their way out. My question: Is the fence on and does it really work? My body's response: Reach down and grab it.

Yes. It was on and yes, it really did work.



I want to feel your touch, your perfect hand in mine.

Feel the coolness of your skin and learn it line by line.

To press my lips to your arm just right,

as we lay in my bed in the soft morning light.

It's as if time stands still when you're here next to me.

When my fingers trace across your palm and I feel you're connected to me.

I'm no longer alone and you're no longer just a dream,

as I brush a strand of hair highlighted by intruding sunbeams.

Each connection, each touch between you and I,

is something I can't resist, something I can't deny.

It's something that makes me beg and even plead

that the morning may come but still not take you from me.

I see you.
Layers of you.
Ones your eyes refuse you to see.

I see your good.
All that you have.
Floating around you so freely.

And I see your pain
What you hold deep inside.
Feeling it's your burden to bear.

I wish you'd see me.
Standing right here.
Wanting that burden to share.

Questions

Here is a wrap up of all of the questions emailed to me. If I missed yours, I'm sorry. Feel free to ask again. Or if you've thought of another, just let me know.

-Last book you read? Child 44 by Tom Rob Smith

-Last song you listened to? Stone Cold Sober by Paloma Faith

-Current book you are reading? The Passage by Justin Cronin (Literally only on page 20) Don't know when I will get the chance to finish it though.

-Favorite book of all time? That's hard... I'll get back to you on that one.

-How many pillows do you sleep with? Currently... four.

-Do you write other stuff besides fanfics and poetry? I do. I've started my own story but I lost motivation for it. That's actually when I started posting fanfiction. It was sort of my little break away from my other story. Then my fics just kind of took off. I'm hoping to get back to my other story though, jotted down a bit yesterday for it so that's a start.

-Do you still get a lot of readers for your other fics besides BWYDT? Yes. More so actually. I think mostly because BWYDT was sooooo long. I mean, when I had to go back and refresh my memory so I could write the Adrianne/Quinn story... I almost didn't want to read it because it was so long.

-What is the most mind blowing thing you have run across while writing your stories? It's all rather mind blowing some days. It's a toss up between the emails and messages I get from people that really touch me and are very deep in meaning, and the sheer number of people who read what I write. I mean, BWYDT has had 921,030 hits as of today. That's nearly a million hits since it started. That is just insane!

Old Thoughts

Now I don't remember what was going on in life that inspired me to write these or some of the other stuff I will be posting, but I was encouraged to share a few.

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We all suffer from the same disease. It causes us to see the world through our own eyes first, and through the eyes of others only after we have been reminded they exist.

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There are moments where the modern definition of life falters and leaves a break that can only be describe in emotion. It is the feeling of sadness, possibility, loss, ambition, excitement, and the truse heart ache I have ever felt. It is the realization that what should have been never will be.

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Lately I have found myself so lost in thought that I can only be woken from my trance by a heaviness in my chest. it is only then that I realize I have stopped breathing.

The Alarm Clock:

The snooze button that refuses to scare them off:

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I've just unpacked my old journals so I will be starting to post poetry/old deep thoughts that I had written down soon. Possibly even tomorrow.