New Poem

With the lack of updates both here and on ffnet, I'm not sure how many people still come here but I felt I needed to share anything just so you know I'm still here. I have 2/3 of a new chapter for the story but want to be partially into the next before I post it so I know you wont have to wait months like you have been. (you are all amazing in that way). So here is a new poem and hopefully I will have the chapter up by Monday.

~/~/~/~

When I'm with you, love takes control.

It's what guides me to hold you close,

What dares me to speak so bold.

When I whisper in your ear real low,

and our bodies sway as we dance so slow,

the smile that you fight but grows

tells me all I need to know.

If I hold a little tighter

Whisper yet a little lighter

Linger near a little longer

The comfort grows only stronger. 

~/~/~/~

Time for an update. Well, the update is overdue but we were so close to a mile marker that I wanted to just hold out a little bit longer.

Yesterday was my last chemo treatment! As to what that actually means, we don't know yet. But I'm just excited to not have to go through it anymore for a while AND be able to sleep on my left arm since my PICC was removed right after. My chemo nurse tried to have a little fun with my mother by calling her up at the end of my treatment and say "We have a problem. Her PICC line fell out."

My mother instantly started asking the twenty questions like "How can it fall out, it's two feet long? Does this mean she has to have another put in to finish her treatment?"

I was medicated into a light stupor but everyone else in the room got a chuckle out of it.

But on to the next stages.

The first: Celebration. I'm headed to Boloxi, Mississippi with my parents to hit the casino one weekend. Hoping for some luck and money to start paying off these medical bills. lol. I also have plans some time down the road to get a very specific tattoo about this whole ordeal. And the big cherry on top is my best friend Amy is taking up to New York for a vacation! I'm sure you all can see why I love her so much... at least one of the many reasons.

But then the second stage is back to the medical. We don't know if I am in remission or not. So in six weeks I will be doing PET scans in a nearby hospital. Those will show if there is any cancer still lingering. The problem with the scans is they have a 40% false-positive rate. So if the scans come back and say I still have cancer, there is a 40% chance that I actually don't.

So if the scans come back positive, I will have another surgery to biopsy whichever lymph node is showing positive. That will be our determining factor.

All of this means that for the next 8 weeks.... I have a normal life again! Woohoo! I hope to get a lot of writing done and should life allow, finish up the fic as well.

Thank you for all of you emails, comments, messages, and reviews. You have no idea how much reading them has help. From your personal stories to your simple 'get well soon'. I assure you they have all been heard and have helped.

Here's to hoping that in 8 weeks, I'm cancer free.