Bittersweet

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I use to think bittersweet was just a word.

Just a word said by those who in the past had heard.

One of those things latched on to and kept.

Used to express things no one knew how to say and yet magically fit.

But never meaning or defining or somehow deeply healing internally when said,

yet here I stand corrected with the word bittersweet lingering in my fuzzy and disordered head.

Because these are the times of pain that somehow, someway bring their own form of good,

not even just from optimism on my behalf, though given that road to take, I would.

No, these are the times when you are suppose to and do feel sad,

but the circumstances surrounding you and her and how it all played out leaves you oddly glad instead.

The pain is still there, thudding heavily with each breath.

Kicking the wind from your lungs and squeezing the heart still held within your chest.

But even now you catch your own paused sigh of relief,

and the one word that springs to mind is that life so bittersweet.

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