It Was A Dream

This is the poem that I took my user name from. It goes back to the post I did about dreams and how they can be very real to me.

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I sprang to sit wrapped in my sheets,
My body drenched from sweat and heat.
I strain my ears for another call,
as my chest heaves with a heavy fall
On this night, I woke to a scream,
only to find, it was a dream.
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Untitled Poem 1

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Thoughts race and days pass.

Nothing changes yet nothing lasts.

My only desire: to close my eyes

and wait for dreams of starry skies,

cool nights and gentle breeze,

when worries lift and depression flees.

I found my place, I'm untouchable.

I found my peace and want nothing more.

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Dreams

     I love dreams. I love to think about dreams that I've had and try and figure out why I have had them, but I have never been able to figure it out or relate it back to my life. I have very realistic dreams. It's like I can feel things and hear things. My mother has realistic dreams that leave her wondering if it was really a dream after all, but I always know the difference because my dreams have a certain layer of absurdity to them.

     I have had dreams where I am in a house with a dirt floor or whose ceiling is only three feet high and you have to walk bent over. I have had a dream where I found a few pieces of paper under a mattress that suddenly multiplied until the mattress bowed from the stack underneath it. They are all very strange, but the strangest dream that has stuck with me the most was a reoccurring dream I have had for many years... probably since I was twelve.

     The dream is always the same. It starts with me being a good depth underwater in the middle of the ocean with a shark swimming towards me. I turn and start swimming away from it as fast as I can towards the surface, but it's obvious I will never make it. Right as the shark is opening his mouth to bite me, I give up and let him win. I literally jump awake as he chomps down on me.

     This dream has probably happened twice a week for a decade. So that is somewhere around 1,00 times in my life that I have had this dream. It's a lucid dream. I can even 'think' during it. As I'm swimming to the surface, I'm telling myself that this is stupid. The dream will always end the same way and even if I did by chance make it to the surface, I still had no way of actually getting out of the water.

     With that being said, one night I changed the dream. When the shark started swimming after me, I didn't try to get away. I just stayed there and watched him as he approached. I wasn't scared and I wasn't panic as the distance closed. And right when he was within arm's reach, he stopped. He just stopped moving and we both kind of floated there for a few seconds before I woke up going “What the hell was that?”.

     That was two years ago and I have yet to have that dream again. I would really love to know what it meant and it was that I apparently figured out in order for it to stop occurring. Any thoughts?

I Will Pray

If there is a God, I will pray to Him tonight.
I will thank Him just for having you at my side.
As I watch you here sleeping next to me,
your eyes close lightly as you drift into dream.

I can't stop my desire to touch your soft hair,
to run my hands through it in the cool night's air.
And while I find myself smiling shamelessly without cause,
when you stir faintly under my touch, my love sick heart gives pause.

I have never imagined myself this way,
so taken by someone, captivated without sway.
Tonight is a night I shall not allow myself to sleep,
but instead make memories of your beauty to keep.

I will pray to God that this night lives long,
that the day is held at bay while this dream dreams on.
I will pray that when your eyes do open to day's light,
that the smile on my face tells you of the most magical night.

I wake from my slumber to early morning light's gleam
and shake from my head fragments of now lost, bitter dreams.
Yet still I hear them calling, begging with pleas
that I abandon the day and return to my sleep.